same photo shoot. bigger chin. 

here we are. the cute couple.  

Feels like summer...

Winter is over; Spring is here, though it feels a bit warmer than an Ohio spring. Ben and I did our first yard work of the season on Tues. (his idea) I only worked at Pablos twice and got to work outside. It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful the sun can feel after a bitter winter. (or a mild one, for that matter.)
After a bit of a lull in wedding planning, and quite a bit of feet dragging, I met with The Pastor. We have a date and time for the ceremony and a rehearsal date and time. We have counseling sessions scheduled. We are really getting married. *eek* Another 6 months to go. Maybe it's time to buy the dress....
Speaking of The Church: I am joining the church we are getting married in, and I am thinking about helping with the middle school youth group. Anything for a bit of peace. I am going to miss Easter service due to my fabulous job, but such is the nature of the beast.
Have a blessed Easter. Eat some eggs for me. Talk to you later.

Forgot to mention...

Oct 21! I will be a Mrs.

Things accomplished in the last 9 days:

a. picked a cake. Yum!
b. reserved the hall.
c. started the registry.
d. reserved the domain name. (rustyandben.com)
e. narowed down the church list to 2.
f. read 3 books.
g. took a few naps.
h. only worked the 2nd job one night.
i. bought some "cute" jeans.
j. did not cheat on my lent resolution. (no sweets)

post birthday update...

Yesterday, I turned 29. I wasn't prepared for the trauma the day would bring and was shocked and dismayed by my lack of enthusiasm. 25 was bad; I hope 30 will be easier. All in all, it was just one of those days. Thank you to all my dear friends that remembered. I'm sorry I stayed under the radar and waited until today to express my gratitude. *blech*

wedding updates

Well,

A. we've found a reception site. think BBQ in the park. hope for warmish weather.
B. decided to do almost everything ourselves. flowers, food, etc. not the cake, though.
C. set up cake tasting appointments starting next week.
D. found a dress, but not completly decided on it.
E. Ben has STARTED the site, but has yet to finish it.

that's the update. work is okay. tired most of the time. pets are good. we added another dog, Olive. My mother was going to give her away, so Ben decided to take her in. She's a good dog; we just have to keep her tied up outside. She likes to explore. Calli likes to chase her. Now that's entertainment.

Bridal Fair went well other than that darn panic attack...

Is it normal to cry every day after you get engaged? I have cried listening to sappy songs on the radio almost daily for the past two weeks. happy tears, but uncontollable sobbing, nonetheless. Thinking about the future and how amazing B is and how wonderful our life is going to be gets me a little emotional. I have never in my life been able to count on a man like I lean on him. He is the most selfless person I have ever known, and I have no doubt he would do anything to make me happy. I have no doubt that he will continue to do so for the rest of my life. It's a little frightening. Thoughts like these have led to a handful of panic attacks. I am the independent one. I'm the free-spirit, but I want nothing more than to hide away and keep him all to myself. Maybe I'm losing my mind. *smile* I blame him.
My mother and future mother-in-law got along wonderfully; I knew they would. We are all going dress shopping the weekend after next. My mother hasn't returned my phone calls for the past two days. *grumble* Ah, family. What would we be without them?

Let the planning begin!

1st bridal fair w/mom and mom-in-law is this Sat in Columbus. I'm pretty excited. Sure wish my mother would return my phone calls. *grumble*
Ben is creating the print work and the website for our shindig. I think i've decided on wine and slate grey for our colors. Other than that, I've made no real plans. I guess I need to get to work!

Happy Holidays

We spent some time with each side of B's family this past weekend. I got to play "show-off-the-ring". pretty fun. His mom, dad, brother and grandmother all made daughter comments. :) We had dinner with my mom last night. Mom and Becca are super excited and are both concerned about finding a date. Ha! I am so tired as we didn't get home until midnight and I had to open the store this morning. Long day to be over at 2:00.
Good news: he picked a date, and I won't be 30 yet! We are getting hitched Oct 21st, 2006. Not even a year. We'll be married next Christmas! next Halloween! Yikes! I had a minor panic attack yesterday. I think it finally started to sink in: the whole married thing. He takes good care of me. We're going to be okay.

I am not planning yet...

I spent 4 hours looking at dresses online last night. I got my nails done today in preperation for everyone looking at my ring. Trying to convince B for an Oct date rather than an Apr date. Avoided an argument over who's paying for the wedding with my mother. *whew* Called a few friends. Asked my sister to stand in the wedding. got an offer for a photographer and a reference for a florist. Tried really hard not to tell B all of the "non" planning I've been "not" doing.
I have never had dreams of a fairy tale wedding. I'm not sure where this is all coming from. Personally, I am very afraid. I wasn't stressing about Christmas with his family. It's easy to blend in and relax with them. Now, I'm not so sure about the blending-in part. *sigh* Here we go!

Guess What?!

I'm engaged!
weird, huh? i was beginning to think i'd be single forever.
B proposed yesterday. The ring is beautiful. He is tickled with himself, because I was so surprised. I assumed he'd wait until he was finished with school; I was looking for a summer engagement. I'm still a bit in shock, I think. I'm not planning anything until after the first of the year. Bridal shows start in January. I invited B's mom to go with me and my mom. She has 3 boys and no other potential daughter-in-laws. It will be fun. I'm feeling a bit stressed. eek!
wearing this ring is driving me crazy. I'm not used to wearing a ring on this finger and it itches. double eek!

I used to be a writer...

I have a binder. it is full of writing dating back to a time when i used to write every day. edited journals, poems, good lines. sometimes i flip thought the pages and wander back through the memories that accompany them. sometimes i think about writing again. is an author someone who writes or someone who is read? Alot of the pieces revolve around beginnings and endings. not very many inbetween times. most of the poems revolve around extreme emotions. the most recent addition to the binder is two years old, shortly before B and I started dating. It is my favorite piece, probably due to the fact I haven't reread it a million times in a vain attempt to figure out where all my words have gone.

don't let it snow!

got a bit of the white death last night. the drive home was awful, but the city did a great job of plowing before i had to be to work this morning. just a few tricky spots. i made it through alive, yet again.
Another friday, another show. B plays at my favorite venue tonight. I should be more excited, but it's been a long week and i'm feeling quite drained. he even promised to be the D.D. i'm too tired to get too crazy. i must be getting too old to rock and roll. i'm not even tring to look cute. *pout*
gotta run. need to eat and attempt to rock out.

funny because it's true..?

Your Birthdate: February 20

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride. Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing. When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it. It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious. Your strength: Your warm heart Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions Your power color: Black Your power symbol: Musical note Your power month: February

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

pandora.com

my newest obsession in music collecting: pandora. If you haven't checked it out, do it right now!

Kids Part II

Just got off the phone with the sister and the mom. Actually quite amazed Sis talked to me. She usually won't when she's angry. the most recent fight was pretty angry and she told mom that she hated her. When I talked to her, she said that she just doesn't want to be told what to do, but that mom needs to act like a mom. hrm. interesting. I hope they get through this spell soon. I can't deal with them pulling me in the middle. I feel bad for mom but remember all too well the teenage fights we had. Of course, Sis blames it all on Dad. He was around for me and I was the perfect child with perfect grades and leading roles. I wish. I got angry when she said that and excused myself from the conversation. I reiterate the previous post: I don't want teenagers. There will come a point that I am not the most important thing in my child's world. I don't even have one, and I can't deal with it. *sigh*
Bedtime. I have to open tomorrow. It will be a good day. darn it.

Kids

After my little sister was born, i quickly decided that i never wanted to have children. It's not that she was awful, I just didn't want to HAVE to deal with her. I didn't want her to be MY problem. She's 16 now and I've gotten over the anti-children bit. I just don't ever want a teenager. The darling is going to stay with us for a few days, because she is driving my mother batty. I have to open the next two days and we're having Thanksgiving dinner with B's family. Oh joy. I am now really dreading the near future.... *grumble*

B's Family

BIG bother John, Mom, Grandma, Grandpa and B. (left to right) This is just to demonstrate that as B is 6'1", we are going to have gigantic children. B has one younger brother who is also taller than B. His dad is a bit shorter at only
5'8"-ish. He claims to be shrinking.

I am ready for my close up...

Meet Calypso, the newest member of our little family. A friend of ours does house rehabs and found this little peeper and her brothers and sisters in a basement of an abandoned house. He rushed them to the pet hospital where the vets saved them. Cali came home to us a couple days later with an aggressive appetite and goopy eyes. This picure doesn't do her beautiful calico coloring justice, but does display just how darm cute she is.